The struggles and success of a professional, a daughter, a wife and a mommy-wannabe
I’ve been told that there is a cyst on my right ovary. I went back home to make an appointment with my IVF specialist. We’ll monitor that.
While waiting to go for the next cycle, I’ve been preparing my body a little better. I go for more exercises. I’ve been going for Acupuncture as well as a naturopathy. The amount of money I’ve spent, the amount of needles in me, the amount of time spent on preparation. Surely I’ll be successful in the next round!
Apparently, I have a cyst. How long it’s been there I have no idea. It was less than a year when I started on my IVF journey. This specialist also recommended me to consider donor eggs. We can do it in Singapore or if costs is a concern, he has contacts in Malaysia too. We need to think this through. We’re foreigners. Can we trust them? We have jobs it’ll be hard to take leave. Are we being too practical or are we finding excuses?
We went for another option in Singapore after being highly recommended by my friend who are recently successful parents through this IVF specialist. We made the appointment to coincide with our planned overseas trip. The specialist took a scan and mentioned about a cyst. Me, “what cyst?”.
We haven’t given up hope. We’ll try again. We’ll try naturally while we get ready for the next round. It’s about 2 years later when we’re ready to try again.
Let’s try another specialist. So we’ve found another one within the same clinic as moving to a different clinic means more paperwork, more hassle. Am I being lazy? Or am I being practical? Or deep inside am self-sabotaging? Am I normal?
We went to see her after getting a referral from our GP. She seems nice. She seems alright. Will she do? She will have to do.
Round 2 – I’ve agreed to start the next cycle almost immediately. The eggs extracted were lesser. The results were the same.
I may not know or remember the key terms or the procedure as some females do who go through the same process. Why? I’m not sure. Perhaps I’ve never been one who’s good with remembering things. Or perhaps it’s my own way of coping. I don’t have to remember too much. I’ll be successful in the next round so why bother remembering.
I have tried a blog as a means to cope while going through IVF but day to day life took over. For the next few days / weeks, I’ll try to consolidate what happened since the start (5 years ago) so that you’ll get the jist of it all.
To begin, in 2015, we decided to go for IVF after a year of getting married and trying. I still remember that we were very optimistic. I may be 41 then, however, we’re pretty physically healthy, we look after ourselves, we’re good people, we’ll have a baby very soon … we’ll be successful. 1st attempt – There’s only 6 eggs extracted. It’s ok, we thought, it’s better than none. But the disappointment when it failed to implant. I’ve practically decided on my own without consulting my husband that we’ll go for round 2 almost immediately. To me – I don’t want to waste time… my body is already fueled with all the necessary hormones … I’m not getting any younger … maybe I didn’t rest well then, I’ve pushed myself too much, we’ll be successful next…. Come to think of it, any excuses then won’t make any difference. I just want it now. I just want a baby.