When we decided to go ahead with donor eggs, the paper work took a while. As part of legal requirements, we had to go through counseling sessions. We continue to charge ahead. We can set out our preferences on what we are looking for. We are in an inter-racial relationship, it’s easier to find someone with my husband’s appearance than mine from an Asian background – we can only ask for dark hair and dark eyes and O-blood group. As it turns out, there are very little Ukraines with O-blood group. Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers. I don’t care, I just want those eggs. We made a final decision on which donor we want and that’s where it begins.
The eggs arrived. Husband had to make a trip to give his deposit while I started on my medications. We were very excited with the implant in March 2018. Thereafter it’s just a waiting game. The wait was over. Of course, there’s disappointment. It didn’t stick. Things never come easy for me does it. Arrgh!
Category: Posts & Thoughts
We’re ready for next cycle again
Our next cycle of IVF will be our final one. As advised by the 2 specialists already, with my age and the tests results, our chances are higher with donor eggs. We’ll figure out where to find the egg donor.
After the surgery and post surgery consultation, I’m in the all clear. The doctor said that my chances of pregnancy will be higher now and she does not doubt that I’ll be successful. Problem now will be my eggs.
The next time we went to the IVF specialist to go for our third and final round, it had been about 9 months post surgery. 9 months? We could have been pregnant and have a baby by then. Why wait for a whole 9 months? Recovery from surgery. Work. Timing. Excuses? Perhaps. But we really want to be sure.
In a way, it worked out well as during that 9 months, I’ve continued with my acupuncture and naturopathy. It was also then that our IVF specialist told us that there’s this clinic that brings in donor eggs from overseas. A challenge perhaps is the eggs are from Ukraine that’s a different ethnic group altogether. Does it matter to me? Not really. I’m happy as long as I have eggs…. good quality eggs that is. My husband need some convincing and time to think.
Cyst and endometriosis?!!
Surgery’s booked. I’m all set to have the darn cyst removed. Waited for 5 hours for my surgery. Was told that the surgery won’t take long. I’ll be home before dinner. By the time I got to, it’s 10pm!
What happened? You’ll have to wait for the surgeon. Michael mentioned that they found endometriosis. I vaguely remembered coming to and speaking briefly to the doctor.
Apparently while going in the remove the cyst, the surgeon found that I have a severe case of endometriosis. Hence, the surgery took longer than expected. The cyst is removed and so’s the endometriosis.
Did the endometriosis cause us to be unsuccessful in our IVF treatments? It’s very likely. Will we be successful in our next attempt then? There’s a high likelihood of success. Why didn’t the first specialist realise that I have it nor mention about the cyst? No idea.
Why didn’t I realise that I have endometriosis? 1 main reason could be coz I’ve managed to learn how to manage my pain. I remember having severe period pain when I was a teenager, especially if I exert myself a few days before my period. It could be so bad that I won’t be able to move for at least a few hours or feel like passing out. Solution – no exercises about a week before my period. My symptoms was also not very typical of endometriosis, my period is pretty regular and manageable with pain killers or non- exertion.
Persistent cyst
6 months later, the cyst is persistent… technical term of it’s still there. And there seems be another one. I’ve been advised that it is better to remove that to be in the safe side.
We told our IVF specialist what the Singaporean IVF specialist suggested – donor eggs. She agreed that the probability of success will be higher.
We started our research for donor eggs. We have no family here in our new adopted country so there’s no one to ask. We feel uncomfortable asking our friends. Plus, they’re of similar age or the younger female friends are not married or never had kids before. We joined forums, we prepared the advertisements. No luck. No response from anyone.
We’re also quite determined to organise the surgery to remove the cyst as soon as possible so that we can get started on our next IVF. Removing it may also give us a higher chance of success.
Doing all the prep I can
I’ve been told that there is a cyst on my right ovary. I went back home to make an appointment with my IVF specialist. We’ll monitor that.
While waiting to go for the next cycle, I’ve been preparing my body a little better. I go for more exercises. I’ve been going for Acupuncture as well as a naturopathy. The amount of money I’ve spent, the amount of needles in me, the amount of time spent on preparation. Surely I’ll be successful in the next round!
What’s next?
Apparently, I have a cyst. How long it’s been there I have no idea. It was less than a year when I started on my IVF journey. This specialist also recommended me to consider donor eggs. We can do it in Singapore or if costs is a concern, he has contacts in Malaysia too. We need to think this through. We’re foreigners. Can we trust them? We have jobs it’ll be hard to take leave. Are we being too practical or are we finding excuses?
We keep finding extra things
We went for another option in Singapore after being highly recommended by my friend who are recently successful parents through this IVF specialist. We made the appointment to coincide with our planned overseas trip. The specialist took a scan and mentioned about a cyst. Me, “what cyst?”.
Still hopeful
We haven’t given up hope. We’ll try again. We’ll try naturally while we get ready for the next round. It’s about 2 years later when we’re ready to try again.
Let’s try another specialist. So we’ve found another one within the same clinic as moving to a different clinic means more paperwork, more hassle. Am I being lazy? Or am I being practical? Or deep inside am self-sabotaging? Am I normal?
We went to see her after getting a referral from our GP. She seems nice. She seems alright. Will she do? She will have to do.
Will it work 2nd time round?
Round 2 – I’ve agreed to start the next cycle almost immediately. The eggs extracted were lesser. The results were the same.
I may not know or remember the key terms or the procedure as some females do who go through the same process. Why? I’m not sure. Perhaps I’ve never been one who’s good with remembering things. Or perhaps it’s my own way of coping. I don’t have to remember too much. I’ll be successful in the next round so why bother remembering.
Let’s start my story again
I have tried a blog as a means to cope while going through IVF but day to day life took over. For the next few days / weeks, I’ll try to consolidate what happened since the start (5 years ago) so that you’ll get the jist of it all.
To begin, in 2015, we decided to go for IVF after a year of getting married and trying. I still remember that we were very optimistic. I may be 41 then, however, we’re pretty physically healthy, we look after ourselves, we’re good people, we’ll have a baby very soon … we’ll be successful. 1st attempt – There’s only 6 eggs extracted. It’s ok, we thought, it’s better than none. But the disappointment when it failed to implant. I’ve practically decided on my own without consulting my husband that we’ll go for round 2 almost immediately. To me – I don’t want to waste time… my body is already fueled with all the necessary hormones … I’m not getting any younger … maybe I didn’t rest well then, I’ve pushed myself too much, we’ll be successful next…. Come to think of it, any excuses then won’t make any difference. I just want it now. I just want a baby.